If Cable Companies Delivered Pizza

1. There would only be one pizzeria per city and lobbyists would pay politicians thousands of dollars to keep it that way. 2. You could only order one kind of pizza but you can choose the size. 3. Unfortunately, all pizzas now come with all 65 ingredients, no substitutions allowed and the vast majority of [...]

Locust Lecture R.I.P. 2004-2011

After 6 1/2 years of proving music still hurts, I am sad to report the Minneapolis-based radio show Locust Lecture will broadcast it’s last episode tonight at 10-12 PM CST. As a co-creator of the show at Radio K with the University of Minnesota Twin Cities campus, it’s more than a little depressing to see [...]

Essay by Vince Martin, Recovering Yankee

The following essay is re-published with the generous permission of the author/stand-up comedian Vince Martin. If you’d like to find out more about Vince Martin’s comedy, please visit his website at http://www.recoveringyankee.com I am a standup comedian. I get to say that now; I was always careful to avoid that exact phrase (though it may [...]

Why I Don’t Work At The Hotel Anymore & Why I’m Not With Deb Anymore

I have worked for REDACTED since 10-1-2006. I left Minnesota for Alaska because the economy was better and I was attempting to escape the recession. While I was in training for my new position at the Anchorage store, the manager of the hotel I was staying at approached me to apply for a winter management [...]

Land Of The Midnight Sun Mix Tape

North To Alaska – Box Car Willie
Anchorage – Michelle Shocked
Alaska & Me – John Denver
From Alaska To L.A. – Wanda Jackson
Stephanie Says – Velvet Underground
When It’s Springtime In Alaska – Johnny Cash
Elusive Dreams – George Jones & Tammy Wynette
Fairbanks, AK – Joe Walsh
Far Alaska – Jethro Tull
Home To Alaska – Lee Greenwood
Murder Rap – Fat Joe
Road To Alaska – Bee Gee’s
The Prince William Sound – Dave Dondero
Hard Hearted Hannah – Ella Fitzgerald
I’ve Been Everywhere – Johnny Cash

Answer Man

“I do it because it makes people feel good,” says Joseph. “I want them to feel happy. We’ve been through so much with the wars,” with the economy and so on, he says.

7 Reasons Why You Should Stop Complaining About Obamacare

I challenge any and all conservatives, Republicans, GOP mouthpieces, libertarians or anyone else for that matter to refute any of the 7 claims I just made. I admit I haven’t read the whole bill front and back and I venture you haven’t either. But for this to count, you can’t just regurgitate something you heard on Fox News or talk radio. Or parrot a blog back at me, for that matter. I’m talking legitimate, creditable news services. If you have actual documented facts that are scientifically proven and statistically valid, in other words TRUTHS, I will happily take this post down and admit you are right and I am wrong. In the meantime, I’m going to assume I understand current health care legislation better than hysterical street protestors who need to settle down long enough to make their signs grammatically AND factually correct.

7 Reasons Why Brujeria Is 300% B.A.M.F.

They perform fake names because they are Mexican drug lords, hiding their identities behind masks because they are wanted by the Fed’s. Their lineup has changed over time and could be different at any point in time, much like the Residents.

Top 6 Alternate Uses For The Oil Spill Term “Top Kill”

6. New TV series about testing firearms starring Don Johnson, Cheech Marin & The Ghost Of Hunter S. Thompson 5. 1990′s-era Jean Claude Van Damme film, the one where JCVD pours oil down the throats of BP executives until their stomachs explode. 4. 1980′s-era Nintendo video game with “all your base are belong to us”-translated [...]

Crispin Glover on Comedy

With pack animals, if there’s a sick one in the bunch, the others will growl at it and try to get rid of it. This translates to the comedian on-stage. There are two types of comedians. One who says, “Everybody laugh at that person,” and the braver comedian who makes them laugh or growl at himself. It brings people together. The audience laughs at this sick thing: they become a part of this clan or tribe. And that’s where you get your friends: you share a certain humor about the sick and the foolish.”